Possibility
by awriterscorned
Summary: Holly J is dating Sav to pass the time until she's reunited with her beloved Coyne.  But what happens when the Coyne she wants isn't the one who wants her?  Fiona/Holly J femslash, set after "All Falls Down."  Rating may change.  I'm not sure yet.
1. Shared Lingerie

A/N: I don't own Degrassi or the lovely Holly J or Fiona or their shared piece of lingerie. I've been meaning to write a Fiona/Holly J fic since...I first saw Fiona and was like "WOW she is hot" and then realized she was a cool character to boot. Hope you enjoy.

"I found this one stripping!" the cop who was gripping me by the coat yelled for _everyone_ to hear.

I looked past Mr. Simpson's horrified face, trying to find Anya. She and Leia were standing by a car (their car?) holding hands, looking as confused as anyone. When my eyes caught Anya's, she took me in and then took _Sav_ in. She had known we were a couple before, but she hadn't actually _seen_ us...caught in the act.

_Please be mad at me_, I thought. My once best friend's eyes were empty. No anger. No jealousy. Not even shock. No. Anya totally expected this from me, and something told me she had expected it since we were sophomores and I tried to break them up. It almost looked like she _pitied_ me, and as soon as I registered it she turned away with Leia and they both got in someone's car to escape this mess.

"Oh shit," I said under my breath.

Sav must have thought I was upset about the _other_ million things I had to be upset about. He put his arm comfortingly around my shoulder and said, "I am _so_ sorry. This is totally my fault."

The old Holly J who liked messing with him might have agreed and told him not to forget it. In this case, Sav taking the blame was just so pathetic, so _stupid_ I could barely allow it.

"_Your_ fault?" I looked at him incredulously. "I'm the one who did a strip tease in an empty classroom after _promising_ Mr. Simpson nothing would go wrong. It wouldn't exactly be fair to blame _you_ for all this."

Sav frowned. "Yeah well I didn't exactly discourage you."

No, he didn't. He stared at my body like a slightly hornier version of the lovesick puppy that he was and it scared me a little. Not because male hormones were something I couldn't handle, but because of the earlier mentioned _lovesick_ eyes he used to have only for Anya. I liked the idea of Sav, the idea of fun and forgetting and comfort, but I didn't like the idea that he was in love with me. That one more boy had his hopes on winning Holly freaking J's incredibly fickle heart.

"It _wasn't_ your fault, Sav," I said firmly.

He put his arm around me, keeping everyone from looking. "Come on, Alli," he said to his sister, who I didn't even notice was there.

"Wow," Alli sighed. "I never thought I'd see the day when my own brother was more of a gentleman than my boyfriend."

I tried to remember who Alli was dating. It couldn't have been Johnny DiMarco because I was pretty sure he graduated and never came around here anymore. Maybe some other guy. Who knew?

"Sweetie, what happened?" I asked.

I used to hate Alli after she got every last person I knew to join a group saying they hated me, but in the end it didn't get her what she wanted. She lost Johnny and I went on to regain my popularity and win the hearts of both Declan _and_ Sav. I really had no right to hate Alli anymore.

"Do you actually _care_?" Alli asked.

"_Alli_," Sav reprimanded.

"Whatever," she pouted. "I know your girlfriend hates me."

I could see her eye makeup running in the rearview mirror. "Alli, we've been over this..."

"If you hated me, you'd make a Face Range page and get over four hundred people to join and talk about how much they hated you and wanted you dead," Alli recited.

"Look, I can forget that if you can," I said. "I think when we get back from break, we'll all have enough else to worry about. So, what's eating you?"

"Well that's _nice_ of you to ask, Holly J," she forced the words out. "But I don't really wanna talk about it."

"It's cool," I said. "Does your dad know you're giving me a ride?"

Sav flashed a charming smile. "He knows I'm giving the student council vice president a ride. And what else he doesn't know won't hurt him."

I remembered hearing Anya complaining time and again about how _awful_ it was that he wouldn't tell his parents about her. How she worried that it meant he didn't like her, how she wished she could date someone honest and open. With Declan, I was like that. With Sav, I couldn't care less.

We pulled into a gas station parking lot so I could change back into my dress from that night, but I knew nothing I did was going to put my hair back into the tiara. Alli came back with me and tried, but it was _sloppy_ at best.

"I wish we didn't have to just go straight home," I said. "I'm a little too embarrassed to face my mom."

Alli rolled her eyes. "Luckily you have _two_ whole weeks for everybody to forget what happened."

I wanted to offer her some words of encouragement before I got out of the car, but nothing came to mind. I said goodbye to Sav, took my stuff, walked up three flights of stairs to our apartment.

"Holly J," my mother said. "How was the dance? What happened to your hair?"

She was sitting on the _one_ couch we had left with curlers in her hair. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for a job," she said, quickly returning her attention to the computer.

"At one in the morning?" I asked.

"Things are rough at the call center right now," she said. "Seems like nobody has hail damage these days, and if they do they _certainly _don't want me to send a contractor out to take a look at it. If I don't get eight appointments on Monday I'm in trouble."

"Trouble?" I echoed. I knew call center jobs were never secure, but I tried to tell myself that a Sinclair could talk anyone into anything. My mother was strong, she'd pull through.

"It's nothing for you to worry about," she said, like she always did. "I'm keeping my options open. T.W. Storms isn't the only call center in Toronto."

I shuddered, thinking about spending all day in a chair with a headset, talking to people during dinner. Even _my_ job was better than that sounded. "Well is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"Just do your best," she said. "That's all I ask."

Really, I doubted being dragged out of a room mostly-naked by a cop in the middle of a dance I was supposed to be running would count as _my best_ to her. "Well, okay then," I said awkwardly. "I'm going to go see if Fiona's on. See how she's doing."

My mother raised an eyebrow. "What happened to your hair?"

"Oh," I half-smiled. "Uhm...I uh...got..."

"Carried away with Sav?" she guessed.

I couldn't deny it anymore. "Maybe," I said. "You _told_ me you wanted me to start being more realistic and stop chasing after some _prince_. Sav's not a prince, Mom. He's realistic and he has goals."

"I never said there was anything wrong with Declan," she said. "I just wanted to make sure you were making the choices you were making for _you_ and not for a boy."

I sighed. "I'm not going to make any life-changing decisions for Sav. He's a great guy and we like being together. That's all."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," she sighed.

"You sound like Fiona," I murmured, as I walked a few paces to the cubby hole that was now _my room_ and threw myself onto the bed that took up a good third of it. After I got out of my itchy dress and hose I did some scratching and sighing in relief before I fell back onto the bed, holding the bag from earlier. The corset was smooth and satiny, a texture I was embarrassed to admit I loved. It wasn't the kind of thing I'd usually own and I was surprised when I found out _Fiona_ owned it. But it unmistakably smelled like her, and I started to feel a little guilty for wearing _her_ lingerie to get Sav.

Even if that was why she gave it to me.

Well, technically she gave it to me as something to remember her by. It still made me wonder why she wanted me to remember her I wondered where she was right now. If her mom was treating her well. If things were awkward between her and Declan. If the Bobby thing was stressing her out. I opened my computer and before I could load Skype, remembered I was naked. Feeling stupid, I grabbed a nightgown out of my chest of drawers.

She was idle when I logged on, but I called her anyway.

"Hey, Holly J. How was the dance?" she asked.

"Awful," I said. "It was a good thing you missed it."

"Awful, what happened?" she asked. "Do I have to beat up Sav for you?"

I laughed, realizing how much she probably _wanted_ to do that. "No, no. Nothing like that. Just..." I thought about telling her about the guy who brought a _knife_ and ruined everything, but realized she had enough to worry about. "When you're on student council everyone's drama becomes your problem. Anyway, how are you?"

"Okay," Fiona said. "Declan won't stop asking about you."

"Well tell him _I_ said that right now is about you. You're facing Bobby and that's more important," I said.

She smiled. "Don't worry. He's been good to me too. So what did you wear to the dance?"

"Just a classic black Audrey Hepburn dress," I told her. "Why, what were you _hoping_ I'd wear?"

"Hoping?" she laughed. "Hey, that's for you to do with what you like."

"Oh come on," I said. "You totally wanted to see pictures in the yearbook."

"Pictures of you in my very hot dress," she giggled.

"In your very hot _lingerie_," I corrected.

"Don't worry, sweetie," she said. "I'm not the Coyne who wants you."

"Ouch," I said it playfully, but I couldn't pretend it didn't sting a little. "Well speaking of the Coyne who _does _want me, is he..."

"He doesn't have a girlfriend, he's not messing around, he's single as can be," Fiona said. "Everything's completely back to normal between us."

Remembering my shock when she kissed him on the dance floor, that didn't sound too good. "Wow...is everything okay?" I asked.

"We're good," she said. "I stress to him about the court case, he stresses to me about you, win win."

I wasn't convinced, but I didn't push it.

"Well I kind of feel bad," I said. "He should be having fun. I mean there have got to be _tons_ of girls pining after Declan," I said.

"Doesn't mean he's pining back," Fiona said. "When Coynes fall, we fall hard."

_Familiar lips were kissing me, and they weren't Sav's. They were Declan's. Sav's kisses were fine and they made me blush a little from how nervous, careful, and just down to Earth they were. I could see why Anya liked him so much. She didn't like controlling people. She didn't like having to fight. She just liked feeling safe and comfortable with someone, being __free_ _to be awkward and clumsy together. Declan's kisses were assertive, authoritative. He once told me I was different from other girls because I didn't let him be in charge. I stood up for myself and demanded an equal relationship. I demanded respect and because of that, he respected me. _

_ Fiona approached, looking disgusted like she did when she "caught" us at her party in New York. But this time her hair was down and she was wearing the lingerie we...shared._

_ "You two are _so _gross," Fiona pulled me by the arm, out of Declan's embrace._

_ "If anything's gross, it's your jealousy, and frankly it's a little bit in appropriate," I said._

_ She said words I knew I had heard before. "You want inappropriate?"_

_ But instead of grabbing Declan, her lips were on mine, the satin of her corset pressed against the satin of my dress. Her kiss was almost violent and what could have been a shriek turned into a muffled moan into her mouth. It took me a moment to regain my footing, to even try to kiss back._

_ I kissed back._

_ And then..._

Woke up.


	2. Love Dodecahedron

A/N: Thanks for reviews. I just started senior year of college so I'm sorry for the slow updates.

_Break_ was not something I spent much time looking forward to. Back in the day, before Heather graduated, before Degrassi, _break_ meant a fabulous vacation somewhere. Hawaii, ski trips, spa weekends, cute boys. Occasionally, my parents would let me bring Anya along and Heather would bring a date. We used to joke that we were "doubling" and it wasn't like I always minded the idea that the girl who was always there for me was there for _more_ than friendly support. I was always proud to be seen with her. She was pretty and she didn't know it. As cruel as it made me, I did my best to keep it this way so she would always be mine and no one else's. Especially not Sav's.

To kick off these pseudo-romantic getaways, Heather always threw the biggest party she could possibly come up with. It always had to be a bigger party than Paige's most recent. If Paige just threw a huge Halloween bash for everyone at Degrassi, Heather would invite the hottest and most exclusive guests from Degrassi, Lakehurst, _and_ Bardell to her Christmas bash. If Paige helped throw a beach themed mixer, Heather would throw a 1920s glam party. The themes were always elaborate enough that no one _too_ poor or unpopular bothered to come. Except Anya, of course, who had _me_ to keep her invited to things. People like Mia Jones tried to set her free, but her answer was always the same. I kept her afloat. I kept people from making fun of her braces, her dyslexia, her awkwardness. I made sure no one was mean to her except for me.

Fuck. I missed Anya.

Break was a little less exciting these days. Instead of Anya, I had Sav. Sav was sweet, but he wasn't my best friend since childhood who knew me inside and out. Instead of Hawaii I had our depressing new apartment. Instead of sunbathing or skiing I had unpacking, setting this place into permanent reality. Instead of themed parties, I had a themed restaurant where I served food in a cow print vest, forty hours a week. I wished I could feel above this job, but it was my only real shot at going to college now. Of getting _away_ from here. Of having my happily-ever-after with...

"Uhm, _miss_," came a dry and demanding voice. "I think I ordered my eggs _over easy_," the woman looked down at her plate like it was crawling with worms,  
and these are _over medium_."

The old Holly J would have told her to live with it, but Spinner taught me well the art of dealing with customers. He told me most of them were jackasses, but they were jackasses with money in their wallets. Money that I _needed_.

"Oh," I sighed. "I'm _so _sorry. I'll take that back to the kitchen and get that fixed for you right away."

"Yeah," Mrs. Torres said dryly. "It would also be nice if you could _fill_ my coffee cup," she said, motioning towards a half-empty cup. "I've been waiting ten minutes."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a ticket appear in the window. Table five's order was ready. They were one of those lovely families who always ate here before their kid's soccer practice and had less than half an hour to get in and out.

"Okay, I'll have that right up!" I said.

As I walked past with a tray of five kid's meals with smiley fries and a country fried steak, Over Medium lady pointed dramatically at her coffee cup. "Am I invisible?" she asked on my way back. "I was waving and pointing and you just walked right past me."

"Sorry," I said. "I had to deliver some food. Table five's in a bit of a hurry."

"I don't know _where_ you get the idea that their hurry is more important than mine," Mrs. Torres said. "I get here five _minutes_ before those clowns and you treat them like royalty! If you're the student council vice president, I can see why Degrassi is such a mess for my sons."

Sadly that one wasn't entirely undeserved. "I'll get your coffee right up," I said.

She shook her head. "I'm past playing games. Where is your manager?"

"Ma'am," I sighed. "I'm doing the best I can."

She laughed. "Well then, you might want to consider a different career path. My _son_ could do a better job than you can."

I knew I didn't have time to argue with her. "I'll be right back."

"Jason, can you talk to her?" I pleaded with the shift supervisor. "She wants to speak to a manager and I'm _really _hoping not to have to bug him."

Jason chucked. "Mrs. Torres again?"

"It's no wonder Mr. Simpson was ready to snap," I sighed. "She's in his office _every_ other day yelling her head off at him."

I wished I was gifted with Jason's ability to chill. "You gotta take this stuff less seriously," he said. "I think she's pretty much hilarious."

"Well somehow I don't," I said.

Jason talked to her and apologized on my behalf, which didn't do much good. She left me a dollar fifty tip, which I knew she could do better than. I sighed and pocketed it when I found Sav sitting in her place, beaming up at me.

"Thank God you're here," I said. "I am having the _worst_ day."

"Then you should totally come hang out with us tonight," he said.

_Us_ in Sav's world could mean any possible combination of people. _Us_ could mean Sav and those guys who hung around Madam Degrassi. Or _us_ could be Anya and Leia and Chantay and so forth. Or maybe _us_ was Peter and Spinner, which was probably the best of the three scenarios.

"Who's us?" I asked.

"You know. Spinner, _Emma_ obviously, Peter," he said. "Jane."

"Wait," I said. "I thought Jane wasn't coming back for break."

Last I'd heard from Jane, she was dating someone at school and was spending time with his family.

Sav laughed. "She wasn't. But then..."

I frowned. "Oh no. The new guy didn't work out?"

"Doesn't sound like it," Sav said. "It's too bad because they sounded really happy on Twitter and all."

"Never judge a relationship by its Twitter posts," I said. "This is going to be super awkward for her and Spinner, isn't it?"

"Nah," Sav said. "Emma and Spinner are like...I _seriously_ have no idea how both of them went through middle school and high school together and never gave each other a try."

"Well I mean, I'm pretty sure she told me he dated her best friend," I said. "And they had kind of a nasty breakup. That would've made things pretty awkward."

Sav laughed. "So there is hope for us."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well you know. We've known each other since kindergarten and we never really hooked up because of Anya. But now..."

I tried to suppress how awkward I felt. "You're not asking me to marry you are you?"

"Course not," he said, though his voice carried more disappointment than I expected.

"Well uhm," I said, pointing off in some random direction. "I have to uhm...do stuff so I'll uhm...be right back.

Spinner's flat was a different place now that he was married. There was a bonsai plant on his table and a bouncy yoga ball near the couch. On the kitchen counter, there was a book called Vegan Cooking For Couples. If I hadn't believed Spinner loved Emma before, that was decent evidence. For another, it was..._clean_. Spinner was on the couch holding Emma and Jane was lounging in an adjacent chair, looking comfortable as ever. When there was a lag in conversation, Jane got up and said, "H J and I need to catch up. We'll be back."

"So...how's college?" I asked casually, as we stepped outside.

"Fine, forget that though _what_ is this with you and Declan?" Jane asked.

I sighed. "It's not a big deal. We're just on a break."

"Breaks that involve other boys are never good," Jane said. "_Trust_ me. Get too attached to Sav and then what happens when you go off to Yale with _Declan_ and never see him again?"

"Sav's a great guy but I'm _not_ going to get attached," I giggled. "We're just having fun."

She raised an eyebrow. "So were Declan and I but then _Spinner_ found out and it messed things up."

"Well yeah," I said. "You were still dating Spinner. Declan and I aren't together anymore."

"Does _he_ know that?" Jane asked. "Or is he sitting all by himself in Manhattan waiting for his princess to return?"

I laughed. "It doesn't have to be that dramatic."

"I remember you telling me the same thing," she said.

"Fiona says he's pretty upset," I said. "There's really nothing I can do about that though. Am I supposed to just not live my life?"

"I never said that," Jane said. "I'm all for the carpe diem thing but you have to figure out who you _really_ want and make _that _guy your priority."

I realized we had walked quite a ways from Spinner's. "Are we going somewhere?" I asked.

"Are we?" she responded.

"You're avoiding Spinner, aren't you?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Dude, I'm over it."

"Except we've already walked like three blocks away now," I said.

"I'm over it it's just...seeing him _totally_ perfectly happy with someone else like we were never even together, it's weird," she said.

I thought about the time when I thought Declan was with Tinsley and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"So who do you _really_ want?" she asked. "Declan or Sav?"

"Who do I _really_ want?" I asked. "You mean like...forever?"

"Yeah that's generally what the question means," Jane said.

"Not Sav," I said.

"Why not Sav?" she asked. "He's such a sweet guy."

I sighed. "Exactly! This is going to sound _so _bad but...sometimes when I'm with him I kind of get reminded of Blue. It's like I've got this nice, smart, friendly, confident side that he totally _loves_ but I don't think he knows that deep down I'm the same Holly J."

"The same Holly J who tried to pry him away from Anya, you mean?" she laughed.

"Let's not even talk about the stupid crap I put Anya through this year," I said.

"No way, I want to hear this," Jane said.

I recalled the way I told her to act pregnant to make Sav look bad and lose him the student counsel presidency, only to have my entire plan _backfire_ and result in Anya and Sav being more in love than ever for about five minutes after which Anya vowed never to talk to me again...again.

"Dude, let her go," Jane said.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

Jane sighed. "Please don't take this the wrong way but, you were always complaining about how she didn't have a life that wasn't either about you or Sav."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"It seems like whenever you end up in a little bit of a rut you're back to teasing Anya," she said.

I stopped in my tracks and crossed my arms at my chest. "What's your _point_?"

"Holly J," she sighed. "Look I _know_ you're going to hate me for saying this but it's almost like you have a crush on her."

"Okay, okay, hold it," I said. "_Anya_?"

"Look, a lot of people at university are bi. It's not even a big deal," she said.

In my mind "bi" wasn't much different from "gay." It was some alternate reality that I had no part of. It was a category where Marco and Riley and Zane and maybe Drew's brother although I never really heard the full story on him. Definitely not _me_.

"Okay I never said being bi was _bad_," I said. "But I'm not into girls. I never have been."

Jane couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry," she said, between giggles. "I'm really sorry."

"This isn't funny, Jane," I said.

"I'm sorry it's just," she said between giggles. "Okay when I met you, like right after shit went bad with Blue, I was _super _convinced you were a lesbian. Okay, don't hate me, but Spinner and I totally had a bet when you first started working at The Dot. He won when you confessed your love for him."

"No wonder he looked so _amused_," I frowned. "So this _whole_ time you've thought I was into girls and you never said anything to me?"

"I don't like to make a big deal out of stuff like that," she said.

"So why are you doing it now?" I asked.

"I'm not making a big deal," she said calmly. "Who's making a big deal?"

I shook my head. "It's bad enough having to figure out if I like Sav or Declan but why don't you just throw Fiona and Anya onto the pile too while you're at it?"

"Fiona?" she raised an eyebrow with interest. "I didn't say anything about Fiona. Are we talking about ice queen who took your job Fiona?"

"No, we're not," I said. "Because we're done having this conversation."

"Oh, come on!" Jane said. "Fiona is gorgeous, of course you like her. You two would be cute. Too bad she's in Manhattan."

"Only for break," I said.

"Wait," Jane said. "She _moved _here? By herself? Without Declan?"

My cheeks started to feel hot.

_"I came here because of you. You were supposed to be the one person in the whole world that I could trust._

I shook my head. "It's _really _super complicated."

"Excuses _excuses_," Jane said.

"She's like my best friend," I said. "Besides, Fiona is the straightest girl I've ever met in my entire life."

"What happened to _not_ being into girls?" Jane asked.

"Okay I am _kind _of into girls but it doesn't matter because I'm dating Sav," I said.

"It _always_ matters," she said. "I'm sure when she gets back in some dazzling new outfit and awesome new haircut and gives you a big happy-to-see-you hug, Sav will be the _only_ thing on your mind."

"Okay, but I made a commitment to Sav," I said. "He's my boyfriend."

"Listen. Sav's cool and all but we already know he can't keep up with Holly J, Declan's cute but he's all the way in _Manhattan_ plus you guys got in that big fight and Anya is straight and probably hates you by now but Fiona? Totally single. Actually lives in Canada. You've got the rest of this year to figure out if you like her or not without any male interference, so why don't you put it to good use instead of _waiting _to be reunited with Declan in college and have it be drama city?"

"I am so not doing this," I said.

She smiled. "It's your call. Few more months and senior year is over. You can either spend it with Sav or with Fiona. Like I said, your call."


End file.
